Jealousy

I should know by now never to answer the phone on the way to yoga. I have a friend from Maryland who I haven't seen in 10 years, but who I talk to regularly who called me this morning at 7 am to discuss the current girl her boyfriend is allegedly spending time with and how much she hates her.
I tried to explain that at some point almost everyone has to learn that there is no point in being jealous of other people, especially other girls in the same situation as you. I told her to think of it as they are all waiting at different stops for a bus for which none of them can decipher the schedule, if anything this is reason for empathy, not hostility.
Needless to say, she didn't think my analogy was a good one, and being that girl fights are the national pastime on Kent Island, I'm sure she is somewhere, as I type these words, shedding blood.
Jealousy is a scary thing, and hard to get out of once you get cocooned in it. I haven't been able to entirely eliminate it from my scope of emotions yet, but these days it has shifted from other people to other people's yoga outfits, or yoga accessories, and back bend ability, and today The Queen of Yoga was not at class, so I was the girl with the coolest LULU LEMON outfit on, BIG GOLD STAR FOR ME!!!! However, the instructor to my right in the first class, (who I affectionately call Gumby due to his flexiawesomeness) had the full allotment of today's jealousy supply, during all of the back bends.
The worse part was I didn't even have to look, I could feel his exemplary back bend energy vibes radiating out, flowing onto my mat, snickering and whispering "You really can tell she hasn't been coming enough lately". This is how my brain works, its not Gumby I am jealous of, its the damn cool kid back bend energy vibes who come over to the edge of my mat and whisper and snicker and point their finger at my self conscious, wimpy back bend energy.
Now ladies and gentlemen, there is a new flavor of jealousy/insanity/insecurity about displays of spine strength I bet you never heard of before.
Oh well, I guess its better than waking up early on a Saturday morning and stealing the farm pickup to go over and beat up Jeanie Ann...