If looks could kill, the mirror would have been my weapon

Yesterday I did a double, back to back starting at 8am and with not much sleep, then I went wade fishing for 4 hours and again didn't get much sleep. So this morning when I went to class sore and tired, I already wasn't very cheerful or optimistic... AND THEN-
A man I call Mr Vocal chose to be in the front row, one person down from me, putting himself directly in my line of sight and at optimum audio range. Unknowingly this man became all that I hate in the world for about 85 minutes. While my legs burned in standing forehead to knee, I blamed him, while my balance failed in balancing stick, I blamed him, while baby sea turtles washed up on the shore, dead and covered in oil, I blamed him. I proved today that I do not posses the power to will lightening to strike, or it would have. At some point while I was sure that the root of all evil was going to make my head explode I noticed the queen of yoga to my right focusing calmly and serenely in the mirror, and I realized, if anything, Mr. Vocal was a gift I should be thankful for, he was a challenge for my focus and my determination. There are plenty of people who I used to allow to upset me by their behavior, but really when people act disruptive or combative it is simply a challenge to remain focused, and not allow your energy to be consumed by negativity. At the end of class I still would have liked to politely let him know how distracting and inconsiderate it is to behave the way he does, but its not my problem, and its not worth my energy. I left regretting that I spent the majority of my practice allowing myself to be upset and irritated, but glad that I had ended it with a stronger peace and focus. If Mr. Vocal is at the 4pm class maybe Ill ask him to stand directly next to me. After the 4pm I will only have 2 more classes to go by the end of Tuesday to accomplish my challenge!

Today is not Tuesday, I don't care what you say, IT IS NOT TUESDAY!!!!

This morning in my second class a familiar friend came to visit. I remember him well from my first challenge, his name is "Pain Like White Hot Lightening Striking Me in the Left But Cheek and Heading Down My Leg". I call him "Pain in My Ass" for short. He comes to visit when I have once again forgotten that my determination is much greater than my physical strength. Luckily one of our instructors Tom can make my unwelcome friend go away. Without Tom I would not physically be able to have come this far, if you ever have a pain having to do with muscular stuff, he, is your man.
So, I am staying home and pretending that today is not Triple Tuesday as to avoid the 6pm class. I have been cordially uninvited by the instructor for the 6pm due to my gimpyness anyway, so even if I tried to go it would not be received well.
Speaking of pain, today I realised what the most painful thing anyone will ever encounter in a Bikram class is, it happens to me often, and I am totally unable to prevent it.

Rabbit Pose:
You tuck your chin to your chest,
touch your forehead to your knees,
lift your hips to the ceiling,
and the sweat that was previously residing on your chin,
rolls up your nose and into your sinus cavities.
This ladies and gentlemen is what real pain is.
It happens frequently and all I can think of is a white hot burning light in my skull, or Ozzy snorting ants, (if he had been in Florida and they had been fire ants) or my brain floating in a pool of napalm.
At least muscles and ligaments have the good grace to cramp, or ache or feel like someone has just hit you with a spiked baseball bat in your left ass cheek, unlike your cursed sinuses that unleash legions of blinding ungodly pain into your cranium.
So, next time you have a pain in class, just breathe and smile through it, and be thankful you didn't just snort fire ants.

Magic Shirts, rednecks, and 13 year olds

Today I learned that the clothes (or more specifically the way clothes can make you feel) do truly make the yogi.
I got a new shirt, its pretty, its comfy, but, most importantly it doesn't inch up when you bend over, it doesn't twist around when you twist around, and it just doesn't move period. This may not seem like a big deal, but, it is amazing. Today was my best practice yet by far, and I owe it all to a wonderful new shirt (maybe not entirely, but you get the point). I also got what may be one of the most accurate and flattering descriptions of myself I have ever heard today. A close friend told me I was 1/3 redneck, 1/3 scholar, and 1/3 yogi. I almost wanted to cry, and here I thought no one understood me. There was a 13 year old kid in class today who did an awesome job for his first time, and I had a moment when I wished my parents had done things like take me to yoga as a little kid, and then I realized there was a reason they didn't, because it wasn't my time to go, now is.
Namaste

Bikram Hot Yoga in Sarasota, Florida

The New Happy Hour

Bikram says that all sports and exercise trash and injure the body and that yoga restores it... Well, Wednesday I went to boot camp and then swam the next morning and then went to Bikram, and then I got out of bed today, kind of. I was so sore I skipped the 10 and almost skipped the 4. It was incredibly hard, but, it did make me feel much better. I also wore my contacts to class today. I usually take them out before class, I am near sighted and it helps me focus, otherwise I would be watching everyone else. Today with my little eye I spied a girl right behind me who looked like me, ten years ago and fifteen pounds lighter, with a better tan. Needless to say I had a major moment of thankfulness that I had come to Bikram instead of sitting at a bar at Happy Hour making myself older and weaker. Later as I lay on the floor, not listening to a word Tom was saying, I thought of all the mistakes and disappointment that got me to this point in my life, and how thankful I am for what every single one of them taught me, and how thankful I am to be right here in this hot ass room lying on a towel soaked with my own sweat on a Friday afternoon while every one else I know is at happy hour.

Let today forever be known as Triple Tuesday. Today, on this Triple Tuesday I touched my forehead to the floor!!!! No one applauded, no one yelled my name from the top of a mountain, but damn if beautiful amber waves of nausea didn't sweep down from the very heavens above carried on the wings of technicolor angels and steal my forehead touching the floor thunder. Today for each of my three classes I was blessed with a pollen tumor behind my right eye socket. It is still there as we speak, I know I talked chickens (this is kind of like talking turkey, but entirely different), I know I whined about my headache, I know I talked about school, and I know I peeled most of the top 2 layers of my facial epidermis off some time during those four and a half hours, and I planted stuff in the garden, and did homework, but mainly I know I touched MY FOREHEAD TO THE FLOOR!!! This may not seem like a big deal but when you have been straining and stretching for over a year to do this and you finally accomplish it, it is pretty monumental. So, I am going to celebrate, by going to bed early and dreaming of developing callouses on my forehead from spending too much time with it pressed on the floor.
Today I touched my forehead to the floor, and really that was all I care about that happened on today, this Triple Tuesday.

"Hard Way Right", and other random things

As I left the 4pm class today I thought about how my whole day was spent looking forward to this class (sick huh?). It was good, for the first time I actually had more energy leaving then when I came in, a lot more. I got down right hyper during the floor series. No clue why. Today my instructor who has been so encouraging and such a cheerleader (in a very masculine way) informed me that I have completed 22 classes in 14 days. So, I am ahead of my goal so far. I started reading Birkam's book, and he is just as humble as I would have expected him to be... Which for those of you unfamiliar with him, that is not one bit. Really the guy has every right to be a bit haughty in front of Americans, we are sick, lazy, and unhappy, but Bikram has an answer for that! "Hard way right", why is it that people who do not speak English very well often sound more intelligent than we do? Think about that one for a minute or two. I am going to miss class tomorrow and I will be rearing to go on Tuesday, wish me power. Oh yea, Gary always says Mondays are big peace stealing days, don't let anyone steal your peace tomorrow!!!

Today I am Wonder Woman

I really don't know what to say, other than, it was FUCKING AWESOME!!!
The 8am and 10am double went really well so I started thinking about trying my first triple, without really THINKING about it. At 6pm I just showed up, and figured it was an experiment. After I got settled in, I started to get nervous(I have no idea what about)and my instructor came over right before class and just told me to take it easy. So, I did, I took it easy, it was really easy. My legs didn't shake, my arms were not tired, and it may have been one of my best classes, it was effortless. I was the Zen Master... I am really proud of myself, and that feels strange, as I always think I could have done better or tried harder, but this was impressive, if I do say so myself. Some days everything just rolls in right, and if you stand strong and focused and determined you can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I am proof that any one, any day,can do something awesome! So tomorrow do something really hard. I not saying to strive to impress your boss, or clean off your desk, or get the kids to clean their rooms, do something people will be inspired by, and look at you like you are insane for trying. Be a superhero, just for one day, it feels so damn good.

Today's out of body experience

People always talk about out of body experiences like they are rare and wondrous things. Fact is they aren't, we all have them all the time, they stem from a lack of focus. Today I had a major one in the 10 am class. I began class feeling good, focused, optimistic etc. and then I started thinking about my unfinished term paper due tonight, and Botox and how I would never get any, except maybe in those creases in my forehead, and about how I cant for the life of me remember the name of that lady I saw the other night who had way too much Botox, and about the ex boyfriend I had who was in love with that blond lady who was married to the Botox doctor, and how bad I needed a pedicure, and what to write about in my blog today, and about how bad I am with names, and how you should never name a farm animal if you plan on eating them, and a few other things. Next thing I know class is almost over, I have been on auto pilot the whole time and I only have two postures left to go. Trouble is, the rest of the class had three left to go... I am pretty sure I tuned back in in the nick of time, as I corrected my posture the lady next to me gave me one of those "Yea, honey it's OK" smiles, and the instructor seemed to emphasize the name of the posture we were in just for my benefit. I guess it could have been worse, but it made me think about a speech I heard the other day on cell phone use and how it keeps us distracted from where we are and who we are with.
So I guess the idea is that focus allows you be fully present wherever you are, and to experience, enjoy, and,love who you are, where you are, and who you are with, because right now we are not any where else, or any one else, or with any one else, and if you miss now, you can never get it back...

And today's double was dedicated to my Uncle Randy, the Scotsman, and all three of our livers...

Sooo
I used to be quite the accomplished drinker, I have personally slaughtered many men much larger than I with tequila over the years. During all of this I inherited my dear Uncle Randy, who was a bar manager and is now a scotch rep. Needless to say recently I have cut way back to the point of almost eliminating alcohol entirely. So, last night, when my dear Uncle called and said there was a going away event for his Scottish friend Jimmy, I decided to imbibe, for old times (not so distant)sake...
From that point the story goes pretty much as usual.
Until-
This morning at 7am when I woke up and realized I really could not afford to miss this Saturday double 8&10am session. I argued with myself about how bad this could go for me, but in the end I decided I had to do something to make up for the damage I did to myself last night.
SO, I drank many many waters,took two Excedrin, put on my wet yoga clothes, (which were left in the washer from yesterday) and stumbled out the door...
I am not sure of the exact timing, but at some point between 7:30 am and 11:30 I sobered up, got nauseous, got a hangover, fought through it, became euphoric, and had one of my strongest doubles yet. I do not recommend this behavior to any one but, this was a great testament to why excuse # 2433887 for not going to a Bikram class (#2433887 is being hungover or possibly still being intoxicated) is not any more valid than the 2433886 before it or the 5 million after it.
The bit of yoga wisdom shared in class today that stuck in my head was said at the beginning of my second classes floor series:
"Keep your eyes open and your mouth closed"
Altho she definately meant this in the literal sense it is damn brilliant advice for life in general, especially when there are shots of rumplemintz involved!
And no, I do not plan on putting myself through this again any time soon...

What a difference a day (and two more glasses of water) makes!!!

Yesterday I felt like I was sinking into the floor, today I felt like I was floating
Yesterday I stumbled out of triangle, today I owned it
Yesterday I fell out of standing bow, today my legs were like a lamppost, unbroken.
Yesterday I was excited about going to class, today I tried to talk myself out of it
Go figure...
Yesterday is never like today, and, you never know what this class will be like until its underway.
This reminds me of when the instructors tell you at the end of two sets, to fully relax, and let that posture go.
So... I am learning to just work as hard as I can during a class, and then fully relax, and let that class go.
Just as in every instance in life, all you can do, or are supposed to do, is work as hard as you can until it is done, then relax, and let it go...

36 more to go...

In this class I learned how to know when you didn't drink enough water... You get extra dizzy, and get the chills. Yea, yea, I know, I should know better by now. I just simply forgot, I didn't carry enough with me today and I got distracted. When I mentioned how bad my balance was to my instructor after class he told me "Don't judge it, just observe it". Funny that is a good bit of advice for most things in life, no matter if we are talking about ourselves or others. So I guess I learned two things in class today, to always drink enough water (which I really already did know, but obviously needed to be reminded of) and to not judge, only observe...

Namaste

I am a relatively new (one and a half years) Bikram student. I started off just going a few times a week, and it was incredibly hard. I would skip class for months at a time and when I attended I would go every other day or so. About three months ago I decided i was going to use Bikram to change my life. Four years ago I had a car accident in which I fractured my c1, broke all the ribs in my left side, collapsed a lung, had my spleen removed, broke all the metatarsals in my right foot, broke my left scapula, died twice and spent three weeks in the ICU. The accident in addition to never having been athletic to begin with and not taking care of my self left me in pretty bad shape mentally and physically. I am now thirty one, and feel better than I ever have in my entire life.

When I went to classes irregularly the heat killed me, and I never saw any real improvement in my postures or the way I felt. The weight loss was the only real result I found, but wen I stopped going to class the weight just came back. One day I attended the ten am class after a few months of not going, and I decided to come back to do the six pm as well. That moment was the moment my whole life changed. After my first double I decided to set a goal of doubles every day for ten days. On my third day I forgot the second class was at four not six, so I only completed nineteen of the twenty classes in the ten days, but that challenge changed everything.

For the year or so I had attended Bikram off and on before that I had never really talked to anyone in my classes or the instructors. Once I began the challenge I began to enjoy the classes, and the people in them. I now know many people who I am glad to see and talk to each day.

During my first ten day challenge I decided that teaching Bikram yoga was something I wanted to pursue. In ten days I lost fifteen pounds, I would say my over all body pains have been reduced by 95% and my energy level has sky rocketed. The truly amazing change is emotional and mental. Everything I ever got upset about suddenly became inconsequential. For the first time in my life i felt calm, in control, and at peace. I started eating better, I stopped drinking alcohol almost entirely. I do not drink caffeine or soda, and I drink about two gallons of water a day. All of the changes in my behavior were almost unintentional, I simply did not want to do anything that would interfere with or would not enrich my yoga experience. Every class I had a break through in at least one posture. In ten days I progressed more than I had previously in over a year.

Since the fist challenge I have been attending about four to five classes a week and a double here or there. I am a student and frankly I just cannot get to enough of the classes to practice as much as I would like. This past Monday I started a new challenge forty classes in thirty days... After this six pm class I will have thirty six more classes to take before June third.

I am excited to see my progress in the next month and to see if I can exceed my goal. I am writing this blog to keep you updated on this journey and to inspire others to start their own.